49“I came to bring fire to the
earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! 50I have a baptism
with which to be baptized, and what stress I am under until it is completed! 51Do
you think that I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I tell you, but
rather division! 52From now on five in one household will be
divided, three against two and two against three; 53they will be
divided: father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and
daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and
daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”
After
this week’s bloodshed in Egypt, today’s Gospel reading explodes with violent
metaphors. After this week’s divisive
politics of race in our city, the nice Jesus we’ve come to expect declares today
that his purpose is to foment division. After this week’s experiences of our
own everyday strife and conflict with friends, family, and coworkers, this
ordinarily cozy contemplative service injects MORE conflict into our lives. I wouldn’t blame you if you left now, you
seekers of peace and quiet.
But
the thing is, I hear the Gospel calling us to be makers of peace and justice,
not seekers of peace and quiet. I hear Jesus pulling us into conflict. Because true peace does not exist until there
is real justice.
We’re
going to start our exploration of conflict with a free association game. In
the margin of your worship bulletin, list words that first come to mind when
you think of conflict. Don’t censor your
thoughts. Write quickly.[i]
PAUSE
Examine
your list. Are all of your words
negative? Why is that? Is conflict always a bad thing? Does anything positive
ever come from conflict?
DISCUSS
Think
now about how the family of your childhood dealt with conflict. (Did they avoid it at all cost? Jump into
heated battles at the slightest provocation?
Stake out rigid positions? Or did
they flexibly and creatively seek solutions acceptable to all?) How did YOU
deal with conflict in that family?
PAUSE
FOR REFLECTION
How
do YOU deal with conflict TODAY? What
are benefits of that response to conflict? What are drawbacks?
PAUSE
FOR REFLECTION
One
reason the “spiritual but not religious” folks give for dropping out of church
is the conflict they experienced or witnessed in past churches. I understand how badly churches handle
conflict. But conflict is part of life and is, in fact, necessary for growth.
Some say they don’t like the messiness of church, so they worship alone on a
sand dune at the beach at sunset. I say
we have to make mistakes and get our feelings hurt sometimes and "waste our time"
on people who may never change . . . because
WE might change. Here is the best
curriculum for life--right here in the messiness, divisiveness, brokenness,
contentiousness of community life, in the problems we work through, the
solutions we discern, the mistakes and triumphs we experience. You cannot learn
alone what you can learn here. Messed up
people are your best textbook. And your messed up self is a textbook for
others. There are times to sit on the sand dunes at sunset and rest your weary
soul. But here is a place to grow and
learn and be transformed and be part of transformation out in the world.
Sociologist
of religion Robert Bellah, who died last month, warned about privatized
spirituality: “The way 'spirituality'
is often used suggests that we exist solely as a collection of individuals, not
as members of a religious community, and that religious life is merely a
private journey. [Privatized spirituality] . . . idolizes the . . . individual as the prime
reality in the world.”[ii]
We as a faith community value and care
for each individual, but we do not see the isolated individual as “the prime
reality in the world.” We who live “in Christ” are part of a larger reality. We
are learning how diverse individuals manage our distinctiveness while
functioning as a cooperative whole. We
may have been taught that the Christian way to handle differences is to deny
they exist or to let some patriarchal figure or system standardize our actions
at the expense of those on the margins.
But that’s not what Jesus taught.
The
song we sang earlier[iii]
describes Jesus provoking those to whom he preached, confusing those who heard
his voice. You may have found Jesus’s
words from today’s Gospel lection provocative and confusing, so at odds with
his usual peaceful message and manner. “What’s
gotten into him?” you might wonder.
But
of course the Jesus we’ve come to know in Luke has been provoking the religious
and political establishment all along.
You may remember that Jesus began his ministry (Luke 4) by insulting the
people in his hometown, which so riled his former neighbors they nearly hurled
him off a cliff.
Even
before he was born, his mother was talking trouble. We may think of Mary as
demure and quiet, a good girl who pondered a lot of stuff in her heart while
smiling sweetly. But the song she sang
upon learning she was to bear a child was seditious (Luke 1: 46-55). Her song says God favors the poor and sends
the rich away empty and lifts up the lowly and brings down the powerful. How can we be so surprised to hear the son of
Mary vowing to bring division and pit son against father, daughter against
mother? We’re right to feel a little uneasy with this talk of conflict.
A newly published book, Zealot: The
Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth by Reza
Aslan, became a source of controversy
last week after a disrespectful Fox News interview backfired and made the book
a best seller overnight.[iv] Unlike the antagonistic Fox reporter, I have
no problem with a Muslim writing a book about Jesus, and I agree with
most of Aslan’s points that dismay conservative Christians. In fact, one critique that scholars make is
that Zealot contributes nothing new to our understanding of the historical
Jesus. But Aslan does get one thing very
wrong and it's his titular point. Jesus was not a Zealot with a militant agenda. (Find arguments against the Jesus as Zealot thesis here: http://jewishreviewofbooks.com/articles/449/reza-aslan-what-jesus-wasnt/.)
It IS troubling to hear Jesus say his purpose
is to bring division. But let's understand the context. And
appreciate ironic, metaphorical, and dramatic rhetoric. And recall that Jesus, who protested the
religio-political system of his day, had deep commitments to the goal of loving
even the enemy, forbidding retaliation, and relying on creative
nonviolence. He was also realistic: the
Way of Jesus often upset relationships--from the family unit on up through the
social strata. Some people today understand what it means to form a family of
choice when the family of birth cannot accept them as they are: beloved
children of God.
Reza
Aslan’s misunderstanding of Jesus is understandable. We all tend to operate in either fight or flight
mode. We speak in either/or terms. We are deaf to nuance and irony and ambiguity
and novelty. We polarize our political
and religious discourse especially.
No
wonder some found Jesus threatening. But he did not threaten them. His
understanding of God’s ways were threatening to the status
quo. Jesus was called to
bring division—but not through violence.
This distinction is one that his contemporaries misunderstood. And it’s a distinction that Reza Aslan has
also, I believe, misunderstood. One can
challenge and promote change and even make people uncomfortable in the cause of
justice—but through peaceful means and for just ends.
Even as his contemporaries misheard his message, so people today continue either to keep Jesus’s bold message bound in the swaddling cloths of the sweet baby Jesus—or peg him some aspiring emperor who continues to inspire the crusaders of each new generation to enlarge their empires.
Jesus
did engage the conflict of his day—but not with violence or triumphalism. Conflict is not always negative. It depends on why and how you enter the
conflict. Conflict can be an opportunity
to recognize different perspectives and needs in order to work for the good of
all.
But
it is hard to know if, when, and how to engage in a situation of conflict. Most of us are conflict avoiders. And even though we see Jesus as a model of someone engaged positively in conflict, well, we also see where
conflict led him. There is great risk.
I’m
going to offer a short and certainly not exhaustive set of guidelines for entering into,,
perhaps even provoking, conflict in transformative ways. You will have other thoughts to add to these.
Much more can be said about how to listen to others with divergent opinions and how to present your needs and ideas to bring about solutions and lasting harmony. But first I invite you to call to mind a conflict that might be looming on the
horizon for you--perhaps a difficult conversation you're anticipating or a situation on which you may need to take a controversial stand. Think through how you might respond to this conflict. Might these guidelines prove helpful?
1.
Know
your own motives and tendencies. Be wary, for instance, if you are assigning
yourself the role of hero in a cause. Take your ego out of it. You are not responsible for righting
all the world’s wrongs.
2.
Be
humble. Even after researching a topic and praying about a situation, you have
limited perspective, and problems are always more complicated than they
seem. Listen more than you speak.
3.
Be
confident. You may be the only person who can offer this perspective or speak
on behalf of someone who can’t. Speak
directly. Use “I” language. Don’t
apologize for your stance. Being “nice” is not a Christian virtue. You’re not responsible for someone else’s
feelings. Act with conviction.
4.
Critique
an unjust system or actions; don’t demonize a person. You earn the right to work through
conflict with someone else when you can sincerely regard that person with kindness. Seek their good.
5.
See
conflict’s potential for good. Look for common ground. Move through the
conflict toward the change.
Are there other guidelines you have for
determining when and how to use conflict for positive transformation?
SHARING
PRAYER:
O God, we ought to be good at conflict because we have lots of experience with
it. May we learn the way of Jesus that
offers peace through justice.
[i]
This activity comes from Kraybill, Ronald S. and Robert A. Evans and Alice Frazer Evans. Peace
Skills: Manual for Community Mediators.(San Francisco: Jossey-Bass,
2001) pp. 10-11.
[iii] Bell,
John. “First Born of Mary” There is One
Among Us: Shorter Songs for Worship
First born of Mary, provocative
preacher,
Itinerant teacher,
Outsider’s choice;
Jesus inspires and disarms and
confuses
Whoever he chooses
to hear his voice.
to hear his voice.
