Showing posts with label Annie Dillard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Annie Dillard. Show all posts

Monday, November 28, 2011

Waking, Waiting, Watching

GOSPEL READING                              Mark 13: 31-37                      
31Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.  32“But about that day or hour no one knows, neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 33Beware, keep alert; for you do not know when the time will come. 34It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his slaves in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to be on the watch. 35Therefore, keep awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn, 36or else he may find you asleep when he comes suddenly. 37And what I say to you I say to all: Keep awake.”
 
            Waking, waiting, and watching are the tasks and gifts of Advent.  This patient alertness, however, runs counter to the frenetic spending and socializing our culture prescribes.  More than at any other time of year, the way of Jesus is especially counter-cultural during Advent.  More than at any other time of year, I am grateful now for scriptural reminders to watch patiently, alertly, for signs of God.  I need practice in these Advent attitudes.
            As a young girl, I loved reading the old Nancy Drew mystery series.  I admired how that girl detective could see what the average person overlooked:  the telltale footprints in the garden that led her to the jewel thief, or the single thread of fabric at the crime scene that unraveled the whole case.  I admired her because I was not observant. 
            To this day, I have no eye for detail.  I don’t know what kind of car you drive.  I have never noticed the shoes you’re wearing. I kind of hope you haven’t noticed what I'm driving or wearing.  But I admire people who do notice, especially those whose observations lead to some deeper mystery. People like nature writer Annie Dillard.
            Dillard once declared: “I wake expectant, hoping to see a new thing.”[i]  That could be our Advent motto.  Did you wake up this morning hoping to see a new thing?  Did you ask God to show you something new and marvelous?  Or did you walk into this day settling for the same old same old, assuming that what you saw yesterday is what you will see today, shutting your eyes to the possibility of freshness and change and revelation?  Dare we expect that God might reveal something to us?  After all, revelation might be just around the corner.  I want to wake expectant.  I pray God will show me a new thing.  That is the Advent Attitude I want to cultivate. 
            Because Annie Dillard is alert, she does see the unexpected.  She once caught sight of a mockingbird in a rare and spectacular free fall.  This is her description of that everyday marvel:

            “About five years ago I saw a mocking bird make a straight vertical descent from the roof gutter of a 4-story building.  It was an act as careless and spontaneous as the curl of a stem or the kindling of a star.  The mocking bird took a single step into the air and dropped.  His wings were still folded against his sides as though he were singing from a limb and not falling, accelerating 32 feet per second per second, through empty air.  Just a breath before he would have been dashed to the ground, he unfurled his wings with exact, deliberate care, revealing the broad bars of white, spread his elegant, white-banded tail, and so floated onto the grass.  I had just rounded a corner when his heedless step caught my eye.  There was no one else in sight” (pp. 7-8).  Annie Dillard lives her life looking for the extraordinary, so she finds it. 
            But wakefulness and watchfulness will not always yield something as beautiful and breathtaking as a mockingbird’s graceful landing.  If you and I ask God to show us something new, the vision may not be pretty.  Just dip into the book of Revelation, and you’ll see glorious images of the New Jerusalem, and horrifying images of a beast rising out of the sea with ten horns and seven heads.  Just read the pages of the newspaper prayerfully, empathetically.  Annie Dillard describes both the beautiful and the horrifying in the world.  Here’s another sight she recorded:
            “I was walking along the edge of the creek to see what I could see in the water, and mainly to scare frogs.  Frogs have an inelegant way of taking off from invisible positions on the bank just ahead of your feet, in dire panic, emitting a froggy “Yike!” and splashing into the water.  As I walked along the grassy edge of the creek, I got better and better at seeing frogs both in and out of the water.  I learned to recognize, slowing down, the difference in texture of the light reflected from mudbank, water, grass, or frog.  Frogs were all around me.  Then I noticed a small green frog.  He was exactly half in and half out of the water, and he did not jump.  He did not jump; I crept closer.  At last I knelt on the island’s winterkilled grass, lost, dumbstruck, staring at the frog in the creek just four feet away” (p. 5).
            Before I finish describing what Annie Dillard saw, I want to pause long enough for us to see—to pay attention to—her method for seeing.  Dillard is able to see something rare because, first of all, she slowed down.  As we enter the bustle of the Christmas season, Mobilians may not be dashing through the snow this December, but many of us will be dashing along Airport Blvd.  We need a season for slowing down.
            And that’s what writer Annie Dillard models for us:  she slowed down and she studied her surroundings.  And she came very close to the thing she wanted to observe.  She did not attempt to examine all the frogs beside the creek.  She did not generalize about frogginess.  No, she looked at an individual frog, face to face.  Maybe it is helpful for us to put a face on abstractions like poverty, war, immigration.  To know the world’s delights and woes, we may have to see closely one human being as she truly is, and through her eyes know the whole world a bit better. 

            Next Annie Dillard says she knelt at that creek bank.  That sounds like a good method for seeing.  Being eye-to-eye in creaturely mutuality is a way for connecting and understanding.  Humbly kneeling by that little frog in something like a posture of prayer nicely pictures our best means of revelation.
            And what does she see next?  Another image of grace and beauty?  Hardly.  Instead, she catches the rare sighting of a giant water beetle just as its forelegs hook its victim, just as the beetle shoots a poisonous enzyme into the little frog to dissolves all its muscles, bones, and organs, and then sucks the life juices from the frog until it’s nothing but a crumpled sack of skin, floating like scum on the water’s surface.  It’s a description so gruesome I’ll spare you the worst details.  But the point is that revelations of this world are sometimes horrifying.  Yet we cannot turn our heads and pretend not to see the homeless on our city’s streets.  We cannot look the other way when disrespect and prejudice rear their ugly heads in our places of work.  We cannot be blind to domestic violence.  We cannot close our eyes to the planet’s environmental crisis.  Because if we do not see the needs of the world, we cannot cooperate with God’s activity in the world. 
            Another favorite writer, Anne Lamott, says that the two most basic and sincere prayers we ever pray are these:  “Thank you, thank you, thank you” and “Help, help, help.”[ii]  But how can we pray those prayers if we are not awake and alert?  To pray that basic prayer of thanks, we must attend to the glory around us.  And to pray the second prayer of help, we must see the suffering that exists in the very same universe.  Yes, tradition teaches us to close our eyes in prayer.  But maybe we need opened eyes to pray and, afterward, to follow Jesus.
Progressive Christians have a chance to hear the Advent call afresh.  We THINK we know the story.  But what if there are dimensions yet to plumb? What if we slow down and pay attention and expect some new revelation this year?  What if there’s a grown-up version of the Jesus Story we have yet to hear?
The children’s story called The Best Christmas Pageant Ever how some people were able to do that.  It’s the story of the Herdmans, a family of six badly behaved children who lie and steal and set things on fire and hit littler kids and smoke cigars.  They are having to practically raise themselves and have never set foot in a church before and have never even heard the Christmas story, but one year these 6 destructive little devils somehow grab the main roles in the church play and take over the entire pageant.  Every other year, the church pageant had been predictable and orderly if boring.  But the year the Herdmans participated, the rehearsals were a nightmare and everyone just knows the final production will be a disaster.  And then the miraculous happens.  In the middle of the performance, it is as if the Herdman children finally start to catch on and the story begins to work its way into their little hearts.  Soon they are visibly overcome with awe as they grasp the meaning of Christmas: God is with us!  Love has come down! And the congregation--which had seen for umpteen times the angels with glittered, cardboard wings--starts to notice that the Herdmans are deeply affected by it all, and they ALL see the story for the first time.

Revelation can happen for us this Advent.  But we must watch for a new thing.  If the Christmas star doesn’t shine as brightly for us anymore, let us search the night sky with eyes of wonder.  Rather than skimming over words like “Fear not, for behold I bring you good tidings of great joy,” let us expect the angels’ message to leap off the pages of our Bibles.  And when we see “the little baby, lying in a manger, on Christmas morning,” let also take in the fact that his family is homeless, he’s in a cow stall nursed by an unwed mother, and his family will save his life by illegally sneaking into another country.  Have we really seen God in that way?  Because if we can do that, it might change how we see others in similar circumstances.
           A priest once cancelled his subscription to the New York Times. He explained the disturbing stories of war and crime and politics prevented him from praying.  Henri Nouwen was saddened by his fellow priest’s response because, Nouwen said, it falsely assumes that “only by denying the world can you live in it, that only by surrounding yourself by an artificial, self-induced quietude can you live a spiritual life.” Nouwen disagreed.  He argued that “a real spiritual life does exactly the opposite: it makes us so alert and aware of the world around us, that all that is and happens becomes part of our contemplation and meditation and invites us to a free and fearless response.”  Real spiritual alertness deepens our prayers AND strengthens our actions in the world.
          In some ways, new church, Advent is OUR season.  Let us as individuals make use of this period of awakening.  And let us as a brand new congregation wait and watch expectantly for the unique role we can play in God’s Pageant. There are fresh ways of being church.  There are new visions for enacting God’s love.  There are gifts you may be called to share with us as we grow into our fuller potential.  When asked why he keeps coming to church, someone once answered, “It’s strange, but I get this feeling here, like nowhere else, that something is about to happen.”[iii] Collectively, communally, we will follow the Spirit, wakefully, watchfully.  God is still speaking and moving among us. 
      
PRAYER:  God of Vision, Wake us from sleepwalking through this life in lock step with culture. Help us to pay more attention to our relationships than the sale tables at Dillards.  Let us watch for signs of your coming again and again into this world, that we may greet you afresh, that we may follow Jesus aright. Amen. 



[i] Dillard, Annie.  Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. NY: Harper & Row, 1974. P. 2.

[ii] Lamott, Anne.  Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith.  NY: Pantheon  Books, 1999.

[iii] Copenhaver, Martin.  “Christmas is a Surprise Party”   Online Stillspeaking Devotional.  United Church of Christ.  November 27, 2011.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Telling Stories with Joy


Lectionary readings in Isaiah, Philippians, and Matthew are printed after the sermon. The sermon followed a weekend retreat for Open Table UCC. The retreat was led by Karen Lee Turner and Nevin Trammel, who teach storytelling as a spiritual practice (http://feastforthejourney.com/blog.html).

            The Bible often seems a somber book, maybe because we tend to read the words with respectful but grim seriousness or detachment.  But I hope that today you caught the bright note of joy singing its way through each of today’s lectionary passages.  I hope you noticed that Isaiah the prophet imagines God inviting us to a sumptuous banquet where every tear will be wiped away.  I hope you overheard Paul tell the church at Philippi to “rejoice always”—in what many consider to be Paul’s most joyful letter.  I hope you observed that the Gospel reading for today retells one of Jesus’s many parables about a wedding feast—his culture’s most extravagantly celebrated occasion —and in this particular wedding feast story even the lowliest are included in the joy.
            G. K Chesterton was right to highlight the role of mirth in religion.  He said, “Life is serious all the time, but living cannot be.  You may have all the solemnity you wish in your neckties, but in anything important (such as sex, death, and religion) you must have mirth or you will have madness.”
            We’ve not trained our ears to hear it, but scholars tell us there’s not only joy and celebration in the Bible—but there’s also humor we miss because of cultural differences.  After all, what is considered funny in one culture might get you arrested in another.  But we found it easy to laugh at the story of Tamar in Genesis—when the pompous Judah is made to look the fool as his henchman wanders the town seeking to pay his master’s prostitute with a bleating, randy goat. That, my friends, is a Saturday Night Live skit. 
            The word “comedy” means something different in literature than it does in television.  Biblical comedy is not necessarily of the LOL—Laugh Out Loud—variety.  Comedy in the Bible is often used to ridicule the arrogant, to let the fools and underdogs triumph.  But biblical comedy is rooted in a “comic vision” that is transformative (J. William Whedbee, The Bible and the Comic Vision, pp. 4-5).  So comedy in the Bible is often a tool for coping with the harshness of life.  But biblical comedy also opens up an entire vision of life—and that vision is hopeful.  The simplest way to differentiate comedy from tragedy—in the classical sense (think about Shakespeare’s comedies and tragedies)—is that a tragedy usually ends with a funeral and comedy ends with a wedding feast.  Each and every Sunday, we are invited to God’s feast for us—where we remember Jesus’ death even as we celebrate his love and his living presence among us.  Comedy is not a silly escape from life’s harsh realities; Biblical comedy shows us an alternate reality of hope and joy. 
            I was thrilled when Karen Turner accepted our invitation to lead our first retreat—not only because she’s a dear friend and a wonderful retreat leader, but because she uses storytelling in her ministry.  I understand my own life as a story.  I think of the Christian faith in terms of a story.
            Elie Wiesel says that “God made [humanity] because [God] loves stories.”  I would clarify that humans are not characters God manipulates, but co-creators in life’s ongoing story.  If I think about Divine activity as storytelling, and humans participating in Life’s creativity as co-authors, then our goal is to continue constructing and living into a story unfolding with hope.  Hope, after all, is the storyteller’s gracious capacity to imagine what is not yet.  Our other human purpose is to connect, and that is also the storyteller’s goal: to create a bridge from one being to another, to construct a mental framework that connects life’s pieces meaningfully, to imagine someone else’s situation and empathize, to understand one’s self in community, to relate . . . to love.  To live a life of faith is to participate as a story teller in this unfolding love story.
            Jesus preached through stories.  But Jesus also revealed God’s saving love in his life story and his Passion Story.  The Jesus Story is the master story for Christians.  Through Jesus we understand that God enters human history to suffer with the suffering, love the unlovable, and bring hope to the hopeless.  Renouncing a system of violence and domination, Jesus showed us a creatively different way to write the Story. 
            I believe Jesus gave us a storied way of knowing God—not the only way, but the best way for me and countless others.  Jesus’ crucifixion was never God’s plan, but was a consequence of self-giving love, a tragic event transformed by hope.  You see, it was God’s gracious gift of hope that allowed Jesus’ followers to see their resurrected Lord, through the eyes of faith, and to begin narrating the horror of his death into a saving story of life, a story we believe today through faith.  The cross, a consequence of Jesus’s choice to embody selfless love, generated the story.  The God-with-us story “saves” as hearers choose to engage and enter the grace-filled construct Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection offer.  Had the crucifixion been a human tragedy, the story might have lingered on while Jesus’ followers continued to follow his precepts.  But the Jesus Story lives on because we do not simply follow Jesus’ teachings but in fact enter into his very way of being.  His disciples act within his story instead of simply retelling or understanding a story.  We walk alongside Jesus, we participate in his story, we enlarge upon and modernize the story, and we partner with Christ to work toward the empowering and peaceful kingdom of God.  When we partner with the Jesus of the story, we receive the saving grace of the storyteller: to imagine what is not yet, to create a vision of God’s hope and love, to re-author our own lives in healthier ways, to live purposefully into that ever-developing God-authored/Jesus-enacted/Spirit-inspired story.  We are telling with our very lives a story of hope.  This story is a comedy, in the older meaning.  And I suppose that makes us all a bunch of comedians.  If you were at the retreat this weekend, you know that is true.
            What this joy looks like in worship is not what comedy looks like on television.  There’s a big difference between joy—and entertainment. Entertainment depends upon certain conditions and circumstances.   Joy is above circumstances.  You may recall that Paul wrote to the Philippians while he was in prison—yet his letter brims with joy.  Entertainment is escapism.  Joy is transcendence.  Entertaining worship manipulates our emotions.  Joyful worship gives expression to the full range of the human experience. 
            But joy needs to be expressed—as it was at our retreat.  In her memoir, Annie Dillard urges readers to express their joy.  Dillard recalls being an exuberant 10-year-old in love with the world.  One day, as she was walking down Penn Avenue in Pittsburgh, her body craved a way to express her joy so she decided to try to fly.  Now she was old enough to know people can’t fly—but “just once [she] wanted a task that required all the joy [she] had.   She’d noticed that if she waited long enough, her “strong unexpressed joy would dwindle and dissipate inside her, like a fire subsiding.”  Just once she wanted to let it all out.
 
She tells the story this way:
            “So I ran the sidewalk full tilt.  I waved my arms ever higher and faster; blood balled in my fingertips.  I knew I was foolish.  I knew I was too old really to believe in this as a child would, out of ignorance; instead I was experimenting as a scientist would, testing both the thing itself and the limits of my own courage in trying it miserably self-conscious in full view of the whole world.  You can’t test courage cautiously, so I ran hard and waved my arms hard, happy.
            Up ahead I saw a business-suited pedestrian.  He was coming stiffly toward me down the walk.  Who could ever forget this first test, this stranger, this thin young man, appalled?  I banished the temptation to straighten up and walk right.  He flattened himself against a brick wall as I passed flailing—although I had left him plenty of room.  He had refused to meet my exultant eye.  He looked away, evidently embarrassed.  How surprisingly easy it was to ignore him!  What I was letting rip, in fact, was my willingness to look foolish, in his eyes and in my own.  Having chosen this foolishness, I was a free being.  How could the world ever stop me, how could I betray myself, if I was not afraid?
            I was flying.  My shoulders loosened, my stride opened, my heart banged the base of my throat. . . . .
            A linen-suited woman in her 50s did meet my exultant eye.  She looked exultant herself, seeing me from far up the block. . . .  Her warm, intelligent glance said she knew what I was doing—not because she herself had been a child but because she herself took a few loose aerial turns around her apartment every night for the hell of it, and by day played along with the rest of the world and took the street car.  So Teresa of Avila checked her unseemly joy and hung on to the altar rail to hold herself down.  The woman’s smiling deep glance seemed to read my own awareness from my face, so we passed on the sidewalk—a beautiful upright woman walking in her tan linen suit and a kid running and flapper her arms—we passed on the sidewalk with a look of accomplices who share a humor just beyond irony.”        
            Dillard then explains that the joy multiplied as she ran, even as she slowed bumping to a halt.  And regarding those other dignified witnesses to her wildness on Penn Ave., she concludes:  “I had not seen a great deal accomplished in the name of dignity, ever" (Dillard, 107-109).
            We are storytelling creatures.  We can tell stories to others—but simply by living we are composing the stories we tell to ourselves that shape our lives.  These stories can be joyful. Although our past stories have already been written, our "preferred stories"--to use Karen Turner's term--are being composed.  We can choose to retell ourselves the story others have written and are writing about us—or we can re-author the stories of our lives in collaboration with the freeing Spirit of Love.  Often unconsciously, we live out a scripted life.  We have accepted an unhealthy or limited story about ourselves and we keep living according to that story’s implicit parameters.  Some tell themselves the story of their lives as “the rebellious son” or “the dutiful daughter” or “the class clown” or “the hard worker” or “the one who bottles up his feelings.”  We get locked into those narratives.  It is true we cannot control circumstances that might suggest or reconfirm for us our role as “silent sufferer” or “angry avenger.”   But we CAN rewrite our part in those circumstances—by God’s gracious gift of imagination.  There is a different and more complex and gracious story we hear first in our own hearts about our belovedness—and then we tell that story with our lives—not with words, but with moment by moment choices and intentions.  There are always plot twists. And characters are always imperfect and inconsistent.  But over time we can collaborate with the Spirit in a new and freeing story of our lives.  Maybe you are ready to compose a life that is freer and truer, a story more consistent with the Jesus Story.  Rewrite that script you were handed.  Jesus told us, with his words and ways, that a new story is possible.  Thanks be to God.

Prayer: Storytelling God, free us to compose a joyful life worthy of you.  God who experienced the indignity of the cross, save us from our false dignity so we may let loose our joy.  May we continue hearing and creating stories of joy and hope, interweaving our own stories with the great story of your love.  Amen

Then the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces, and the disgrace of his people he will take away from all the earth. , . . Let us be glad and rejoice in God’s salvation.   Isaiah 25: 9-10

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. 5Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. 6Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.   Philippians 4: 1-9

Once more Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying: 2“The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding banquet for his son. 3He sent his slaves to call those who had been invited to the wedding banquet, but they would not come.  . . .   8Then he said to his slaves, ‘The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy.  9Go therefore into the main streets, and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet.’ 10Those slaves went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found, both good and bad; so the wedding hall was filled with guests.   Matthew 22: 1-3, 8-10